You are currently viewing Are you who you want to be?

Are you who you want to be?

Life can implode. Sometimes it is obvious, your husband walks out on you, you lose your job or get some bad news. But It is not always obvious. You might realise you have woken up 20 days in a row feeling like crap. You might suddenly look around and wonder why your life hasn’t turned out like you planned.

When life implodes some of people get busy and try and distract themselves. Other people open a box of chocolates, get under a duvet and don’t come out.

Much healthier is to look inward and ask yourself some questions. Take the opportunity to answer some questions. Make time to take stock, to dig deep, and figure out what you want, is much more constructive. You get to take a look in the mirror and see what is there.

Maria Cramer writes a great example in The New York Times. Jonathan Frostick, an investment banker in the UK sat down on a Sunday evening to prepare for the week ahead and had a heart attack. As he realised that he was having a heart attack his thoughts were:

1.. Fuck, I need to meet with my manager tomorrow, this isn’t convenient.

  1. How do I secure the funding for X (work stuff)
  2. Shit, I haven’t updated my will.
  3. I hope my wife doesn’t find me dead.

It wasn’t until later during his rehabilitation, Mr Frostick made a more philosophical post ‘Who am I? It is a riddle my mind cannot solve,’ he wrote. “I have no idea who I am anymore. This is going to take some time…”

Are you who you want to be? Is your life going where you want it to? Do you know where you want your life to go? Do you know what is important to you? Does your life or job reflect what is important to you? Does your everyday life and actions match your lofty goals?

Are you happy? Are you fulfilled? Is this enough?

Don’t be like Mr Frostick to wait for a catastrophe to break you out of autopilot. Take the time to look inward and work out what you want before the catastrophe strikes.

Working out what you want is easier said than done. Sometimes you just need a tropical holiday and time in a hammock and your priorities becomes immediately clear. That is not always possible though.

A coach can ask you these questions and give you the space required to reflect on what is important to you.



I am a coach, mother and wife, living in the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. I grew up in South London, in an immigrant family in the suburbs. But I had good fortune with my parents: Dad was born in Calcutta, India, and my Mum came from communist Poland. In the 1970s I got to leave Croydon, and travel with my family through India, and behind the Iron Curtain. I saw parts of the world that my classmates could not comprehend. It sparked my wanderlust and gave me a great respect for how big and diverse our world is. And I gained an ability to move between different cultures, assimilating into them.

Leave a Reply